Badly Kept Secrets
by adropletofjupiter
Summary: R&R pls. Dawson and Joey broke up, can joey find what she needs in pacey when she needs it? PJ fic. Disclaimer: DC is kevin williamsons head, not mine. all charticters are his unless i make up some lol.
1. Default Chapter

**Badly Kept Secrets**

Diary,

Why is it that men drive you insane every second of every day?

Insane in one way or another.

Some days they just plain annoy you, others they annoy you because they can't annoy you. And that drives me insane.

Dawson Leery for instance, a very good example of the insanity inducing male specimein. One minute you're dating and he's the sweetest guy on the planet and the next he annoys you so much that you want to grab the closest blunt instrument you can find and hit him over the head with it – even if it the 1500 laptop you got for your birthday. But I didn't actually hit him; instead I chose the route with the least punishing custodial sentence. Ending it.

Yes that's right. I Josephine Potter am free. I ended it. Not because I was bored, or because I was running away but because if I didn't I would have committed homicide. And it comes to a point where homicide is just a criminal act too far… y'know?

Quite dramatic conclusion you may presume but as you are just a book filled with my thoughts I hugely doubt that you will judge me on it.

But then there's one other male specimein. Pacey J Witter. He is annoying in the true sense of the word. He's loud, and brazen, and bursts into my life when I don't want him to and insist on doing something purely idiotic which in turn annoys me because it turns out being idiotic is indeed very much fun.

However, even though he does annoy me, he annoys me in the funniest of ways and I would never even think about hitting him with my 1500 prized possession of a laptop which I got for my birthday.

It puzzles me as to why I feel that way but I think that the level of fun I have with him completely outdoes the amount of boredom I have with Dawson which gives me time in my daydreaming schedule to even dream up the possibility of hitting him over the head with my 1500 laptop and serving a custodial sentence for murder in the first degree.

He is my safety net, he is the person who keeps me out of prison purely because I try so hard to keep him out I have no time for myself.

even now I see him approaching with that ridiculously annoying but sweet red shirt with Hawaiian flowers on that I would burn… however not with him in it which is the difference between him and Dawson, I would certainly think about burning that shirt if Dawson Leery was in it… especially if Dawson Leery was in it but I think maybe that Is because of the way he has been treating me lately.

Don't get me wrong though, I don't not love Dawson, but I do still see him every day at school and we still talk and I still see him every single Friday night to watch hideously artistic and wonderful movies but I still will always have that need to hit him with something.

And don't get me wrong about Pacey either, I don't want him or anything I just want to enjoy time not wanting to hurt someone with my 1500 laptop I got for my birthday.

I want fun with Pacey, which I would never even dared admit in front of him in the fear of him turning even more egotistical than he is now. I want fun with Dawson but that will never happen as fun to Dawson is watching the director's commentary of ET followed by an in-depth three hour documentary about the making of Schindler's list. But I do want fun with both of them which usually ends in a fight.

I want serious time with Dawson, which is every time with Dawson. And I want serious time with Pacey too which happens if I beg him for it but which eventually ends in the conversation getting too heavy and him turning it into a tickling fest or a joke, which, in turn ends in me storming out the door and him leaving five messages on my answering machine in the voice of Mickey Mouse or Alvin and the chipmunks begging for my forgiveness.

I guess a girl can't have everything. Can she?


	2. bADLY kEPT sECTETS pART 2

**Badly Kept Secrets – part 2**

I close my diary and put it under the pillow where it belongs; walking over to my desk I sit down and open my laptop. I look out the window at the creek as the water glistened on it, I want to be outside but instead I'm sat at this tired desk looking out the window at the place I wish I was instead of the place I am. I intended to start work on the English assignment but I had never been so bored with it. I knew what to write I just had no motivation to write it, but I had no choice. I swept my hair behind my ears and began to write.

Somewhere between my first paragraph and my last I heard a knock on the door, I was relieved, something had given me an excuse to stop staring at the screen and actually interact with a human being.

Pacey entered

Did I say human? Well Pacey was close enough.

"Hey there Potter," Pacey said as he walked in, in his summer shorts and a terrible Hawaiian shirt, sandals and a baseball cap. I glared at him, up and down at his disastrously typical Saturday Pacey outfit.

"What have you come dressed as?" I finally asked him him, raising my eyebrows. I was pretty sure Pacey had taken note of how long I stared at him, added 2 and 2 together and got six hundred. I was sure the next words out of his mouth were going to be...

"checkin' me out Potter?" he asked. I know he was going to say that, I was sure of it.

"Just because a girl checks out the hideous outfit you are wearing does not mean that she is checking you out. I was merely adjusting my vision for the explosion of revolting style and colour. Or should I say revolting lack of style," I told him. And even though I do always speak my mind I thought it best not to tell him that I actually did take note of his slight tan and growing muscular physique. Because telling Pacey Witter he has a muscular physique is like saying to Dawson. 'Hey have you ever seen ET?' its only going to end in a long conversation that you cannot get back out of. Like a never-ending pit of self love.

"I'll have you know that I have come dressed as myself, because individuality has no impersonations," he said confidently, sitting on the desk. My desk.

"What do you want?" I asked him, looking up at him. I try to look disinterested in the distraction by opening my laptop…. But… wouldn't ya know it… I fail.

"Well just thought that as it was such a lovely day you might want to go for a walk or something," he offered, jumping up off the desk and walking around my room.

As he walked around my room he did what he always did, annoyed me by not annoying me when tying to annoy me. Today he was opening all my drawers and looking into them, looking for 'silkies' as he called them.

"Why?" I asked him perplexed, following him, closing draws as he opened them, trying, but failing to trap his fingers to teach him a lesson.

"Well Barney and woofus are outside and I thought if I was taking them for a walk, why not you too,"

"Oh so I'm like your dog… nice Pacey. And I really wonder why you're still single," I like to tease him, some people may call it bullying him but I chose to call it 'teasing'. I realised I had let my guard down when I saw him sizing up my only pair of embarrassing pink silky French knickers, given to me by my sister in her attempt to feminise me. I gasped when I saw them and snatched them out of his hands.

"I didn't mean it like that; come on Joey take a walk with me. I'm bored and if you don't I'll start to read your diary," Pacey said, running over to my bed and grabbing my diary from under my pillow. My bed, my pillow, my diary. Not his bed, his pillow, his diary. Mine. Sometimes he forgot the small details, the small details that resulted in me kicking his cute ass.

"Pacey J Witter!" I finally snapped. Some things in a woman's life were sacred and her diary was definitely one of them. "I swear if you so much as open that cover I will make it my mission to separate you from your testicles permanently," I glared at him icily. It was one of those moments where I agreed completely with the term ice queen. I was an ice queen when it came to my diary.

"Then take a walk with me and you want have to," he said throwing my precious diary onto the bed. "Come on ever since you and Dawson broke up you have hardly been out of this room. Come on. Close up your precious little lady laptop and come walk with me," Pacey said unplugging it and putting it into my bag carefully.

"If I come will you stop annoying me?" I asked him, putting my jacket on, giving in. again.

"Yes! Yes! Absolutely!" he agreed enthusiastically as i pulled my shoes into my feet. This better be worth it.


End file.
